my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (iconic)
my_daroga ([personal profile] my_daroga) wrote2013-10-08 10:40 am

although I wasn't there, he said I was his friend

So. Hi.

It's been awhile, right? I'm not even sure where to begin, except to say--I miss you. Generally and specifically. I miss fandom, and my flist. Part of it is, I got busy, I got depressed, I got busy getting un-depressed, a lot has changed. And part of it is just that I don't know how to get back in. Somewhere along the line, I've convinced myself I've nothing to say or contribute, and I'm not sure why that is. Thinking feels difficult, fandom feels dispersed, and I no longer know where I fit in it. And thinking about working that out is daunting, because there is so much of it. There's a lot of canon, a lot of fanworks, a lot of meta, and a lot of platforms on which to discuss it. Even now, I don't know where to post. Do I go to tumblr? Do I come here? Do I try both, and if I do, how do I decide what goes where and how do I even manage that without getting overwhelmed again?

Anyway, this current whim has been caused by my attendance at Sherlock Seattle 2013, which was great fun. I've been a Sherlockian since, oh, I was 9 and first saw Jeremy Brett on my tv. So it was amazing, getting to go to a con just a few minutes from my house, where "new" fandom and old mingled. You had all the cosplay, the fic, the tumblr memes, etc, but you also had guests of honor I remembered from zines and Prodigy boards and I reconnected with a lot of stuff and made new connections.

And I want more. I just don't know how to do it. The suggestions I've gotten, while good, aren't quite me. I mean, yes, I'm making fannish crafts, that people seem to want. That's nice! And I enjoy dressing up (especially when professorfangirl calls me out so amazingly nicely!). But what I miss most is discussion and writing fic and being part of that ongoing production of meaning.

So why do I think I can't think anymore?

I don't know, but I might be poking around here, trying to figure it out. Hi!

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