my_daroga: Orson Welles (orson)
2013-10-10 09:30 pm
Entry tags:

on the fact all the fanfiction I've posted today is ancient

Somehow, I've convinced myself I'm not a writer. I used to write all the time. I used to even post stuff I'd written! And I haven't in years, except for roleplay, which is writing, but dependent on others playing along. Which can be a great thing, motivationally, and a bad thing.

So today, in an effort to jumpstart my creative engines, I posted a bunch of old stuff to AO3 that I guess I didn't feel qualified as fic, or wasn't done/good enough/ready. I know that those pieces won't ever be, and I thought maybe if I put it out there, I'd inspire myself again. So the Phantom and Star Trek stuff that went up today is all old. In one case, almost ten years old. So the person who wrote that is no longer the person I am, but I still think I had some nifty stuff to say. And maybe someone will enjoy it, or be inspired to write their own response.

The Trek stuff I posted is all more or less flashback/metafic about Kirk, based on stuff that was developing through the roleplay I was part of. Things were coming out in play that might not necessarily reflect my view of canon, but were nonetheless takes I hadn't seen before on Jim Kirk. So those are there, too.

I want to write more. I just have no idea how to do it anymore, and I'm not even sure why that is. I've honestly convinced myself I have no ideas in my head, which is inconsistent with the fact I apparently want to write. So something's blocking me pretty hard.

So if you've ever been in this position? What do you do? Prompt communities? I am interested in way too many things at the moment to be able to narrow down my interest long enough to think of a premise. I think I need to set some artificial barriers. And keep reminding myself it doesn't have to be good/done/epic/amazing right off. Somehow, I got into that mentality as well, the one where I have to know what the end point is in order to act. I've been getting a LOT better at not living that way, and it's turned out all right for me so far. So it's time to apply it to writing, again. If I can narrow my attention long enough to know where to begin.
my_daroga: Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera (phantom)
2013-10-10 11:06 am

Fanfiction: Like Everybody Else (10/12) - Phantom of the Opera

Title: Like Everybody Else (10/12)
Fandom: Phantom of the Opera (Leroux)
Rating: Mature (sexual content)
Summary: A sequel to the events of the novel, Christine returns to Erik to live as his wife. But the promises Erik made are difficult to keep, and a kiss is not enough.
Notes: Thanks to [personal profile] stefanie_bean for her editing help and [personal profile] lettered for her support and inspiration. Also available at AO3.
Chapter Ten )
my_daroga: Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera (phantom)
2013-10-09 12:37 pm

Fanfiction: Like Everybody Else (9/12) - Phantom of the Opera

Title: Like Everybody Else (9/12)
Fandom: Phantom of the Opera (Leroux)
Rating: Mature (sexual content)
Summary: A sequel to the events of the novel, Christine returns to Erik to live as his wife. But the promises Erik made are difficult to keep, and a kiss is not enough.
Notes: Thanks to [personal profile] stefanie_bean for her editing help and [personal profile] lettered for her support and inspiration. Also available at AO3.
Chapter Nine )
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (iconic)
2013-10-08 10:40 am

although I wasn't there, he said I was his friend

So. Hi.

It's been awhile, right? I'm not even sure where to begin, except to say--I miss you. Generally and specifically. I miss fandom, and my flist. Part of it is, I got busy, I got depressed, I got busy getting un-depressed, a lot has changed. And part of it is just that I don't know how to get back in. Somewhere along the line, I've convinced myself I've nothing to say or contribute, and I'm not sure why that is. Thinking feels difficult, fandom feels dispersed, and I no longer know where I fit in it. And thinking about working that out is daunting, because there is so much of it. There's a lot of canon, a lot of fanworks, a lot of meta, and a lot of platforms on which to discuss it. Even now, I don't know where to post. Do I go to tumblr? Do I come here? Do I try both, and if I do, how do I decide what goes where and how do I even manage that without getting overwhelmed again?

Anyway, this current whim has been caused by my attendance at Sherlock Seattle 2013, which was great fun. I've been a Sherlockian since, oh, I was 9 and first saw Jeremy Brett on my tv. So it was amazing, getting to go to a con just a few minutes from my house, where "new" fandom and old mingled. You had all the cosplay, the fic, the tumblr memes, etc, but you also had guests of honor I remembered from zines and Prodigy boards and I reconnected with a lot of stuff and made new connections.

And I want more. I just don't know how to do it. The suggestions I've gotten, while good, aren't quite me. I mean, yes, I'm making fannish crafts, that people seem to want. That's nice! And I enjoy dressing up (especially when professorfangirl calls me out so amazingly nicely!). But what I miss most is discussion and writing fic and being part of that ongoing production of meaning.

So why do I think I can't think anymore?

I don't know, but I might be poking around here, trying to figure it out. Hi!
my_daroga: Peter O'Toole in Lawrence of Arabia (lawrence)
2012-06-22 07:12 am

Things [personal profile] lettered writes that I don't have to...

In this post: Avengers fic recs, White Collar, and Terence Hill!

Fic recs! [personal profile] lettered has written two AMAZING Bruce Banner-centric Avengers stories you need to read. They're all at her DW/LJ/AO3, but here are some links.

A Fine Spur Uninterested in being an Avenger, Bruce goes back into hiding. Once more Natasha is sent to recruit him, but she has an agenda of her own. There's this total McGuffin action plot, and then this totally meta discussion on whether Black Widow is allowed to show emotion, cf multiple fannish discussions on the subject.

Her Bruce is tops. And her Natasha is... well, let's just say this fic explores some things amazingly well that need to be addressed.

The Hollow Men Steve goes to Uganda, ostensibly to fetch Bruce, who still doesn’t want to join the Avengers. Steve tries to figure out how to do the right thing; they both try to find their place in the world.

This story is, for me, about how the "right thing" is not always obvious and how superheroes in the real world are problematic and the beauty is that it's about lots of things we never talk about but I want to see discussed. And Steve. Oh god I love Steve.



Also, I was going to talk about how we're watching White Collar but she kind of said everything here EXCEPT for how Neal Caffrey totally reminds me of Terence Hill from the They Call Me Trinity movies. In that they're both irritatingly pretty in a way I don't tend to go for and which tends to get used to showcase how pretty they are EXCEPT in their cases, they're so goofy and allowed to look ridiculous that once I see them in action, I cannot escape. And they both have this devil-may-care, except see-what-I-did-there-aren't-I-awesome? attitude. Or maybe it's the icy blue eyes. Let's see if I can find some pics... )

Of course, Trinity and Terence Hill deserve a post of their own, but once I start I might not stop.
my_daroga: From Powell's "Peeping Tom" (camera)
2012-06-21 01:13 pm

this was written yesterday...

As [personal profile] lettered and I wait in Milkwaukee for our next flight, I will type up a few observations on our weekend at CON.TXT. It's my second fan convention, after last year's KiScon, and I had a fantastic time. I wish I'd had more time with each of the people I met, each of the people with whom dialogues began in various panels. There seemed to be so much to do, I never slowed down and took a "time out" just to get to know anyone better, and I wish I had. Even so, I'm not sure when I would have done that! Anyway I think individually we invited just about everyone to Seattle.

We knew about the con through [personal profile] stultiloquentia and it was great to meet her. We also hung out with and met [personal profile] viklikesfic, [personal profile] sarah, [personal profile] synecdochic, [personal profile] holli, [personal profile] hannah, [personal profile] recrudescence and shared a room with [personal profile] jjhunter. Forgive me--these are the names I got/can remember off the top of my head! But so many people had fascinating things to say, it just didn't seem like enough time.

The panels were great. I tend to enjoy the meatier ones more than the big squeeful ones, though those are fun too! But those where we could focus the discussion a little better--though they always wandered--and get into some of the issues were fantastic. That's why I was here--to find those conversations and those people who, when you say "I love Sherlock/Supernatural/Star Trek but what about the women?" don't remind you we're at a con that, at least nominally, is focused around slash. Because it wasn't. It was focused around wanting to have those discussions, both about how to represent things respectfully and the problems of loving canons that are problematic and at no point did I ever feel like anyone was saying either, "don't harsh my squee by thinking so loud" or "you shouldn't ever ever ever write X because it's always offensive." It was about finding the ways in which we can and should reach out and understand one another and interpret these texts for maximum fun, enjoyment and benefit.

So basically, I went to panels about The Avengers, BBC Sherlock, ALL Sherlock Holmes, speculative erotica, writing trans characters, the problems of canon contrariness, social justice and problematic characters/canons, anonymity/pseudonymity, gender and sexuality across cultures, AUs, the AO3, Doctor Who, and shifting genre in fandom and fanfic. And [personal profile] lettered and I "ran" a DIY Star Trek panel because there should always be MORE SHATNER. In two years, should we attend again (and we plan to but can't plan that far ahead), I really hope to be more organized and do more panels because I really enjoy it. And I have things to offer!

(As anyone there probably noticed I believe, considering how much I talked.)

The Disco Duck was really fun, especially with the "quiet" room for talking, and the vid show was fun but mostly fandoms I knew NOTHING about. (It did, however, make us start watching White Collar when we got back to our room, so... there's that.) I really hope that the problems with the hotel will be solved by next time, because the elevator situation as well as the fact there were NO public gathering spaces when the con sweet wasn't open was difficult. Overall, though, it made me want to be more involved fannishly so I can keep these conversations going in some way, though I'm still not sure HOW.

The other success of the weekend was, I must say, my first true foray into cosplay. I started out the weekend as Tintin, showed up to the dance in my British flag dress (and was called on not actually being British, so I'm SORRY), and then [personal profile] lettered and I showed up on Saturday to the Avengers panel as Bruce and a [pre-serum] Steve. It was great fun and not nearly as uncomfortable as costumes could have been, and I had a lot of fun doing it.

There's more to report, as we spent 2 1/2 days in DC seeing things, but it's been a great and extremely nerdy vacation and is enough, I think, to spread into two posts. Especially since I have pictures! )
my_daroga: Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera (phantom)
2012-01-22 02:54 pm

Fanfiction: Like Everybody Else (8/12) - Phantom of the Opera

Title: Like Everybody Else (8/12)
Fandom: Phantom of the Opera (Leroux)
Rating: Mature (sexual content)
Summary: A sequel to the events of the novel, Christine returns to Erik to live as his wife. But the promises Erik made are difficult to keep, and a kiss is not enough.
Notes: Thanks to [personal profile] stefanie_bean for her editing help and [personal profile] lettered for her support and inspiration. Also available at the AO3 and The Fifth Cellar.

Chapter Eight )
my_daroga: Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera (phantom)
2011-11-10 04:35 pm

Fanfiction: Like Everybody Else (7/11) - Phantom of the Opera

Title: Like Everybody Else (7/11)
Fandom: Phantom of the Opera (Leroux)
Rating: Mature (sexual content)
Summary: A sequel to the events of the novel, Christine returns to Erik to live as his wife. But the promises Erik made are difficult to keep, and a kiss is not enough.
Warnings: The sex in this chapter contains elements of force and dubious/non-consent.
Notes: Thanks to [personal profile] stefanie_bean for her editing help and [personal profile] lettered for her support and inspiration. Also available at the AO3 and The Fifth Cellar.

Chapter Seven )
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (Default)
2011-11-04 01:54 pm

Fanfiction: Like Everybody Else (6/11) - Phantom of the Opera

Title: Like Everybody Else (6/11)
Fandom: Phantom of the Opera (Leroux)
Rating: Mature (sexual content)
Summary: A sequel to the events of the novel, Christine returns to Erik to live as his wife. But the promises Erik made are difficult to keep, and a kiss is not enough.
Warnings: The sex in this chapter contains elements of force and dubious/non-consent.
Notes: Thanks to [personal profile] stefanie_bean for her editing help and [personal profile] lettered for her support and inspiration. Also available at the AO3 and The Fifth Cellar.

Chapter Six )
my_daroga: (star trek)
2011-07-03 08:32 am

Fanfiction: Fingers Crossed [Star Trek:TOS, Kirk/Spock, NC-17]

Title: Fingers Crossed
Fandom: Star Trek: TOS (at least, that's how I imagined it; there is no canon specific element here)
Rating: NC-17 for explicit sex
Pairing: Kirk/Spock (established relationship)
Word count: 2,600
Genre: PWP
Summary: Spock knows Jim believes Vulcan hands to be unusually sensitive. He doesn't disabuse him of that notion, but he has his reasons.
Notes: Written for Dreamwidth's Kink Bingo's amnesty period for the "hand fetish" square on my card. I wanted to play with the common trope in Trek fic about Vulcan hands. It went from there.
Warning/content notes: (skip) Fisting.


It was a common misconception... )
my_daroga: James T. Kirk (shatner)
2011-07-01 08:00 am

and on a lighter note...

Have this video you've probably seen before, because it's hilarious. [NSFW in concept, though it's all images from the 2009 Star Trek film.]



As well as some photos I won at the KiScon raffle! Some of which are candids I did a little bit of color fiddling with.

+6 )
my_daroga: Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera (phantom)
2011-01-17 12:12 pm

Fanfiction: Like Everybody Else (5/11) - Phantom of the Opera

Title: Like Everybody Else (5/11)
Fandom: Phantom of the Opera (Leroux)
Rating: Mature (sexual content)
Summary: A sequel to the events of the novel, Christine returns to Erik to live as his wife. But the promises Erik made are difficult to keep, and a kiss is not enough.
Notes: Thanks to [personal profile] stefanie_bean for her editing help and [personal profile] lettered for her support and inspiration. Also available at the AO3 and The Fifth Cellar.

Chapter Five )
my_daroga: Sirius from Diana Wynne Jones' Dogsbody. Based on my dog. (dog)
2010-12-22 11:34 am

Photos: Last gig, and okay, cats

My last gig with Landlord's Daughter was on the 5th of November. I actually thought I'd posted about it, but I guess I didn't. I have really mixed feelings about it: it was probably the best gig we've ever had, and I had the most fun, and that made leaving really bittersweet. I still think it was the right decision, but it was a lesser of two evils thing, not a clear-cut winner.

But! I have photos, taken by the bass player's girlfriend, and I wanted to commemorate the event.


Landlord's Daughter at the Blue Moon

plus studio recording, and cats! )
my_daroga: Sirius from Diana Wynne Jones' Dogsbody. Based on my dog. (dog)
2010-12-18 04:39 pm

5 year anniversary!

On December 17, 2005, Mr. Daroga and I picked up our first dog from the pound. Eventually named Mr. Darcy for his combined vulnerability and attitude, he's been a fantastic companion ever since. I just wanted to commemorate that, because I love this dog, and I think a lot of people who've met him have, too. He's the model for the picture of Sirius from Diana Wynne Jones' Dogsbody in the icon. He's the one who I couldn't take outside for months and months because he became dog aggressive after the three month period during which he was too terrified to un-tuck his tail.

When we got him, the pound said he was a year old. The vet said he was three or four. Which means he must have been somewhere in between, because he didn't grow, and he's probably not nine. But I guess we'll never know, and judging from some of his behavior, maybe it's best that way.

Thank you, Mr. Darcy, for five years of love and counting.

mrdarcy004
Then, and blurry, I'm sorry.

camera shy
Now-ish. Hey, greybeard.
my_daroga: ambiguous? (batman)
2010-12-17 12:41 pm

Supernatural and rumpled!Chaplin

So, five years late, I've finally watched the first two episodes of Supernatural. I guess the tipping point was nearly everyone I know wanting to talk about it? And I wanted to give it a chance, I really did, but I don't think it's for me. Not trying to pick a fight, just my curmudgeonly observations. )

On a completely unrelated note, I found this photo on tumblr and I just can't get over it. I think it's because we don't see older stars in photos like this: they're either in a film, or it's posed. And while there are plenty of candids of Chaplin, he at least usually has his hair combed and doesn't look like he rolled out of bed. So maybe I do have a little of that People magazine thing in me, because I can't stop looking at it. Sort of like that photo of Welles, Hayworth and a birthday cake.



I mean, honestly. How is that even the same person? And how much do I want to play with his hair?

For still another unusual view of Chaplin, this 1915 film has him in drag, and tricking the two men after him into kissing. He's sort of adorable. The drag part starts around 14:50.
my_daroga: Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera (phantom)
2010-12-17 06:33 am

Fanfiction: Like Everybody Else (4/11) - Phantom of the Opera

Title: Like Everybody Else (4/11)
Fandom: Phantom of the Opera (Leroux)
Rating: Mature (sexual content)
Summary: A sequel to the events of the novel, Christine returns to Erik to live as his wife. But the promises Erik made are difficult to keep, and a kiss is not enough.
Notes: Thanks to [personal profile] stefanie_bean for her editing help and [personal profile] lettered for her support and inspiration. Also available at the AO3 and The Fifth Cellar.

Chapter Four )
my_daroga: Orson Welles (orson)
2010-12-14 12:09 pm

Shakespeare meme

Meme stolen from [livejournal.com profile] viorica8957.

Bold the ones you've seen stage productions of, italicize the ones you've seen movies of, underline the ones you've read or listened to, and add a star to any you've performed in, done readings of, or in which you've otherwise theatrically participated.

the plays )

I also saw a play that was several of the history plays stuck together, but I don't remember which and that probably doesn't count.

Also, I don't use it much, but if anyone wants my tumblr of people I find hot and stuff I'm watching/thinking about, it's under the same name. Feel free to give me yours!
my_daroga: Portrait of Charles Chaplin (charlie chaplin)
2010-12-12 01:45 pm

The Little Fellow and The Gold Rush



The other day, [personal profile] lettered and I watched The Gold Rush. There was no little consternation on our part, discovering the 1942 reissue (and, I believe, the primary DVD source) contained Chaplin's narration and music, which I find interesting from a historical/personal perspective but really rather horrible to actually watch/listen to. While it is ably performed--the synchronization and the sound effects, especially, were well-done--the whole thing really takes away one of the joys of silent pictures. And that is the interaction with the viewer when it comes to interpreting the text. With silent films, there is a constant conversation being held between the film and the spectator, because while the pantomime should be obvious, it is not put into words. And it's the audience's job to determine how many words they need, or whether they are watching on a more elemental level. Sometimes I can read their lips, but most of the time I'm participating on the level of gesture, suggestion. I don't want to know the Tramp's thought processes--it takes away part of the magic, for me. (It also highlights Chaplin's weaknesses as a scriptwriter, because his added dialogue is far less charming than what I might have put into his mouth.) That said, the thought of Chaplin revisiting this some 17 years later and commenting on "the Little Fellow" as he called the character is intriguing.

Read more... )

I've also been reading some about him. There's an excellent volume of reaction and criticism entitled The Essential Chaplin, edited by critic Richard Schickel. What's great about it is that it collects contemporary reactions to him, and thereby records not only his career but part of the trajectory of film writing. It's fascinating to get a glimpse of how people wrote about film when there wasn't yet a canon to write about. And the figuring of film in popular culture and art. I will say that the book is one of the WORST proofed professional volumes I've ever read, with glaring typos throughout. Also, Schickel's introductions to the essays and reviews are helpful context, but he's extremely dismissive of some of the contributors for my taste, outright derisive at times. But it's an interesting book.

I've yet to find an actual biography that doesn't fall directly into either the "godlike genius" or "perverse hack" categories most bios of creative people seem to be unable to avoid.

And, because... I don't even know:
my_daroga: Tatsuya from "Touch" (cartoon)
2010-12-11 12:38 pm

Guys. I really like Avatar!

The cartoon, I mean. I was going to say The Last Airbender but now that's confusing, too. Anyway. Not exciting and new, I know, old meme, but I thought you should know.

Because everyone's awesome, especially... *drumroll*...

IROH.

That's right. I adore him. I don't know what it is, though I do know that I often really enjoy characters who like food and/or are sort of philosophical about their comforts. Even though I do not. Like food.

I'm not done with Book 3 yet, I think we're on the second disc, but the scene with Zuko and the shell was probably the best thing ever, and I also love Katara and Aang and Sokka and less so Toph. But Iroh. I need more Iroh.

I hear people don't like Katara. What's that about? Unless it's about something that hasn't happened yet, in which case, don't tell me. But anyway, I love that it's a kid's show that moves, plotwise, and it's got definite goals, and the humor is actually humorous to me, and there are lots of girls kicking ass. It's just great.

These are my profound thoughts.
my_daroga: Orson Welles (orson)
2010-12-09 08:56 am

Dry spell over!

I know I've spammed a few of you already, but this just in:

I will be playing messenger/Conrade/Ursula in Much Ado About Nothing! I've had about ten or so auditions without results, so I was getting really discouraged--I know that's how it goes, but it's hard to keep perspective when you're feeling so judged--so I'm really really happy.

I'm also happy because the one show I've seen at the theater had some great acting, and I think it's a good step forward for me, career-wise. Don't get me wrong, I love the people I've worked with so far, and I've had a great time. But being in a cast where I'm not the lead and have to keep up will be good for me.

So, I'll be gone for pretty much the entire month of January, as we go up in early February. I want to start right away!