Lawn Chaney--for all your gardening needs!

[my_daroga]

I'm always a little reluctant to point out the classics to people. The things we all should know about, and which therefore I don't have to mention, no matter how funny I think Monty Python is. You notice I haven't been waxing rhapsodic over the Marx Brothers, whom I've recently started watching again. Because what would I say? The Marx Brothers are funny?

Hardly a revelation.

But I'm less reluctant about developing inappropriate crushes on dead people, so I'm going to break my silent rule and wax rhapsodic about Lon Chaney.

No, not "walking with the Queen" Lon Chaney, Mr. Zevon. That was Jr. I'm talking about "The Man of 1,000 Faces"!

We all know, because we've been told it, that Chaney was a great master of disguise and a famous actor and really scary and all that. Many of us have seen his version of Phantom of the Opera, still considered the best among many fans. In that capacity, I've been familiar with him for years--but only as the Phantom. Yup, great makeup. Yup, some really great physical, almost balletic, acting. But the movie, as a whole, has that far-away feeling I think a lot of us ascribe to all silent films. It's foreign. It's got exaggerated gestures and wide-eyed women and much flailing of arms.

What I didn't really think about until just last week, after watching The Unknown and Laugh, Clown, Laugh is that Chaney was a great actor, of any age. While many of his films are lost, his huge body of work attests to a sensitive, expressive artist. Had he not died of lung cancer at the age of 47, early sound footage reveals he would have been more than capable of handling that transition.

On top of Chaney's vaunted skill with greasepaint and willingness to truss himself up in various ways to acheive amazing physical transformations, he had an almost uncanny ability to arouse both fear and sympathy. Not just as monsters and fiends but quite often as a jilted, secret lover. A sad, strong, tragic man.

The two films I saw recently also make me wonder what was going on back then. The Unknown, a film I genuinely adore at this point, concerns the tale of Alonso the Armless, a knife-thrower in a circus in love with the circus-owner's daughter, played by Joan Crawford.



But the strong man, played by Norman "Raoul" Kerry, loves Joan too. Unfortunately for him, Joan has a pathological fear of men's hands. Yes, you heard that right. So her relationship with Alonso is pretty great, even if she sees him as some kind of faithful neutered dog.





Alonso's actually an escaped murderer with a congenital defect on his hand which he hides by pretending he's got no arms. If you think that's a twist, it's just beginning. This movie is so delightfully sick, I can't contain my glee. It was directed by Tod Browning of Freaks infamy, and between those two films I have no idea what he was doing with Dracula, which obviously could have been so much more twisted. I am so tempted right now to spill it all to you--suffice to say there is major angst and this time, Chaney's allowed to play it with his "real" face.

(As a reminder, here's his Phantom face--apparently negatively campaigning for some guy?
)

In Laugh, Clown, Laugh he plays, you guessed it, a sad clown. He rescues a baby girl, raises her in the circus as a tightrope walker (played by a preturnaturally hot Loretta Young), and then falls in love with her.



The scene where she shows up in a real, grown up lady's dress and he realizes she's "a woman" is heartbreaking. And I can't tell whether it's disturbing because, hey, he's her dad or because he's just so horrified by the strength of his feeling. You can see it all in his face. Though I don't have a picture of it. You'll just have to believe me when I say that he goes through all the emotions you'd expect him to, and he's still unable to forget about her. ETA: You no longer have to take my word for it--vampire_cookies has found the clip.

But he's got a rival, a strapping young dandy whose hysterical laughter is as pathological as Lon's tearful outbursts. They decide that they can help each other reach a little more equilibrium, of course not realizing they're in love with the same girl, who joins them in an unstable little trio for a time.

Until, of course, she has to choose between them.

I would totally pay to see a movie this messed up, these days. Especially the armless one. I mean, it's ridiculous, but mind-bogglingly great at the same time.

So here's my tribute to Lon Chaney. Is it weird I find him really quite attractive? I should post a picture of his arms as revealed in The Unknown--he stayed pretty fit. But since I can't, here's some more, from a few other roles (the first is from West of Zanzibar, another Chaney/Browning combo that seems just utterly twisted; the others from The Penalty in which I defy you to say this man actually has legs. No trick photography, guys.)