my_daroga | Lawn Chaney--for all your gardening needs!

I'm always a little reluctant to point out the classics to people. The things we all should know about, and which therefore I don't have to mention, no matter how funny I think Monty Python is. You notice I haven't been waxing rhapsodic over the Marx Brothers, whom I've recently started watching again. Because what would I say? The Marx Brothers are funny?

Hardly a revelation.

But I'm less reluctant about developing inappropriate crushes on dead people, so I'm going to break my silent rule and wax rhapsodic about Lon Chaney.

No, not "walking with the Queen" Lon Chaney, Mr. Zevon. That was Jr. I'm talking about "The Man of 1,000 Faces"!

We all know, because we've been told it, that Chaney was a great master of disguise and a famous actor and really scary and all that. Many of us have seen his version of Phantom of the Opera, still considered the best among many fans. In that capacity, I've been familiar with him for years--but only as the Phantom. Yup, great makeup. Yup, some really great physical, almost balletic, acting. But the movie, as a whole, has that far-away feeling I think a lot of us ascribe to all silent films. It's foreign. It's got exaggerated gestures and wide-eyed women and much flailing of arms.

What I didn't really think about until just last week, after watching The Unknown and Laugh, Clown, Laugh is that Chaney was a great actor, of any age. While many of his films are lost, his huge body of work attests to a sensitive, expressive artist. Had he not died of lung cancer at the age of 47, early sound footage reveals he would have been more than capable of handling that transition.

On top of Chaney's vaunted skill with greasepaint and willingness to truss himself up in various ways to acheive amazing physical transformations, he had an almost uncanny ability to arouse both fear and sympathy. Not just as monsters and fiends but quite often as a jilted, secret lover. A sad, strong, tragic man.

The two films I saw recently also make me wonder what was going on back then. The Unknown, a film I genuinely adore at this point, concerns the tale of Alonso the Armless, a knife-thrower in a circus in love with the circus-owner's daughter, played by Joan Crawford.

But the strong man, played by Norman "Raoul" Kerry, loves Joan too. Unfortunately for him, Joan has a pathological fear of men's hands. Yes, you heard that right. So her relationship with Alonso is pretty great, even if she sees him as some kind of faithful neutered dog.

Alonso's actually an escaped murderer with a congenital defect on his hand which he hides by pretending he's got no arms. If you think that's a twist, it's just beginning. This movie is so delightfully sick, I can't contain my glee. It was directed by Tod Browning of Freaks infamy, and between those two films I have no idea what he was doing with Dracula, which obviously could have been so much more twisted. I am so tempted right now to spill it all to you--suffice to say there is major angst and this time, Chaney's allowed to play it with his "real" face.

(As a reminder, here's his Phantom face--apparently negatively campaigning for some guy?

)

In Laugh, Clown, Laugh he plays, you guessed it, a sad clown. He rescues a baby girl, raises her in the circus as a tightrope walker (played by a preturnaturally hot Loretta Young), and then falls in love with her.

The scene where she shows up in a real, grown up lady's dress and he realizes she's "a woman" is heartbreaking. And I can't tell whether it's disturbing because, hey, he's her dad or because he's just so horrified by the strength of his feeling. You can see it all in his face. Though I don't have a picture of it. You'll just have to believe me when I say that he goes through all the emotions you'd expect him to, and he's still unable to forget about her. ETA: You no longer have to take my word for it--

vampire_cookies has found the clip.

But he's got a rival, a strapping young dandy whose hysterical laughter is as pathological as Lon's tearful outbursts. They decide that they can help each other reach a little more equilibrium, of course not realizing they're in love with the same girl, who joins them in an unstable little trio for a time.

Until, of course, she has to choose between them.

I would totally pay to see a movie this messed up, these days. Especially the armless one. I mean, it's ridiculous, but mind-bogglingly great at the same time.

So here's my tribute to Lon Chaney. Is it weird I find him really quite attractive? I should post a picture of his arms as revealed in The Unknown--he stayed pretty fit. But since I can't, here's some more, from a few other roles (the first is from West of Zanzibar, another Chaney/Browning combo that seems just utterly twisted; the others from The Penalty in which I defy you to say this man actually has legs. No trick photography, guys.)

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I have had to educate so many friends who thought they were "film fans" in the art of James Cagney, Hitch, James Stewart et al. A lot of them thought black and white films were "quaint and cute" so I showed them White Heat and Public Enemy (= fucked up). I am assuming you've seen Psycho, but just in case any innocent comment readers haven't, here's spoiler gap....

So he's watched all of Takeshi Miike, knew about Peter Jackson from the days of "Brain Dead", a fan of Tim Burton since Pee Wee's Big Adventure got released, had an Eraserhead poster up for years - he knows it all about film.

So one day I give him Psycho to watch. He toddles off dutifully to humour me and comes back a couple of hours later a bit pale: "Fucking hell! It was bloody obvious it was the mother, I thought this film is really well done but I figured I guessed the ending (i.e. he was convinced Mother had done it, that would have been shocking enough for the times) - but I never expected that!" It got him so good! The last scene really freaked him out.

So my point is that the world needs more people like you to point out that the Marx Brothers ARE ACTUALLY FUNNY since it seems to be an assumption that they are old-fashioned, out-of-date, 'we've seen it all before', an appendix to comedy rather than a huge chapter.

Plus THEY ARE REALLY FUNNY! I still LOL loads at their films.

As for crushes on dead fellas, add me to the Lou Chaney fan club, and would you also like to join mine - Charlie Chaplin, Harold Lloyd, Claude Rains and, dare I say it, Stan Laurel?

I need a Tony Perkins icon. Speaking of crushes on dead guys...

You're right, of course. Obviously none of us were alive when Lon Chaney, or the Marx brothers, or sometimes even Monty Python were around. So it's not outside the realm of possibility that we still need those things pointed out. There's lots of stuff I still haven't seen yet, because there's only so much time (and so many film classes). Sometimes, though, I start going off about how awesome say, M*A*S*H is and in my head I'm going, "well, duh, EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT."

I won't, anymore. The fact that both Duck Soup and The Unknown are still shocking to my sensibilties is proof they're not outdated or old-fashioned.

I'm ashamed to say I'm not up on my Stan Laurel or Harold Lloyd (beyond stills) so I can't join you there, except in spirit. The rest? Hells yes. Claude Raines, especially--Louis' always been my favoritest part of Casablanca. Oh, and let's put Buster Keaton on there, too, because when the Great Stone Face actually gives us an expression, he's a doll.

hahahaha but I will always and forever think of Zevon when I hear about Lon Chaney. Either Lon Chaney.

I really gotta see The Unknown. It sounds so cool. The other one I'm worried about because I don't like clowns. I'm not scared of them like some people, I just don't like em. They're...freaky.

I don't think it's weird you find him hot. He looks pretty cool ripping that girl's hair out.

I can't believe I just said that.

Thanks for this. I'll netflix some Chaney, in the future.

I made S. watch The Unknown after I saw it. Evil armless murder? Cadaver-faced villain? Legless hair-puller?

I'd tap that.

Damn, that should be my slogan.

Oh, as to the clown thing, while he spends a great deal of the time made up like one, he's pretty pathetic and sad all the time and doesn't spend a lot of the film being a funny clown guy. I'd say it's still worth it--and if you find The Unknown it'll probably be on the DVD with L,C,L and a really nice documentary on him so you can see him in action in other things.

I personally think The Unknown was his finest work, in terms of the character and how brilliantly he played it. I often critique actors and actresses in their roles by asking myself if anyone else could have replaced them and done it better. No one could have replaced Chaney in almost every single one of his roles. No one. The guy was gifted beyond his time.

It's really very endearing to learn how so many of his costars were deeply fond of him, and especially how he in turn was often very protective of them. I remember reading how he "coached" Mary Philbin during their descent down to his phantomy lair, telling her how to look and when to draw back and such. That seemed so hot to me. No wonder she had a crush on him, that pert little mango.

Loretta Young, also, says Lon directed her much more than Herbert Brenon, who supposedly just yelled at her a lot. She was 14 years old, on her first film, and had no idea what to do! Brenon would only bully her when Lon wasn't around, and Lon figured it out and made sure to stay on set when she was working. That's the story, anyway.

"Pert little mango"... man, that's a turn of phrase I could stand to see more of.

Yeah. They even mention the whole Loretta biz in the IMDB trivia section.

BTW: Youtube has that clip you mentioned in Laugh Clown Laugh, just in case anyone who hasn't seen the movie yet wanted to take a peek: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy3XrCkPQog

Have you ever been to the silent movie theater in L.A? I can't remember what it's called, but I know it's fairly famous. They show regular screenings of old silent movies in this old movie theater. Hard wooden seats and no auditorium seating. It's great! Up on the walls are pictures of all the famous "silent era" icons. Chaney is there in his clown make-up. I'm always tickled when I see him there.

I have yet to see any phantomy actor match Chaney's schmexiness in certain phantom scenes. Like when Christine is freaking out about his coffin and he's just leaning against the wall? SEX. The only thing that beats that is when he comes back to the lair after drowning Count Philippe. All wet. Completely stoic. Totally Erik. Every time I see that, I get the chills. Yow.

Ha, I didn't check IMDB for that. Cool. And thanks for the YouTube clip--I'll have to add that up top.

I have *not* been to that theater, though I think I know where you're talking about. I've only been to LA once, early this year, for a few days, and didn't feel like driving too much after days interviewing people and trying to find locations to photograph! So I missed out on nifty movies and such. But it sounds awesome and I will keep it in mind next time.

When I was in Boston, I saw the Alloy Orchestra accompany several silents (no Chaney, though) and they're hardcore. Like, percussive & synth based Metropolis. Perfect. Live, it's like a physical beating. The good kind.

I also once saw Phantom in Providence at an old theater with live organ and theremin (yup!) accompaniment. No kidding.

I was telling husband last night about that thing Chaney does with his hand when he says, "that is where I sleep." You know, that upturned twirly thing? What?? Awesome.

The man's a genius.

Lawn Chaney--for all your gardening needs!

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