some of you may recall my strange affair with the Phantom of the Opera...

[my_daroga]

I feel the need to explore, for my own sake if not for anyone else's, this strange obsession which has bound me off and on for well on 13 years now. It has waxed and waned, and I am a different person in many respects from the one who was first struck, but recent events have conspired to raise the specter within me again. The recent milestone achieved by Lloyd Webber's juggernaut reminds me, as well, that this love affair of mine was sparked by something I don't like anymore and have rejected since I was 16 or so.

So why does it still haunt me?

Okay, so it started with ALW's Phantom when I was starting high school. That was about the same time I found the audiobook at the library (read by F. Murray Abraham). So then came Susan Kay's revisionist masterpiece (*cough*) and my teenage angst and fanfiction (though I didn't know that's what it was at the time) and round-robin stories and relationships I still have born of Phantom. I collected all the movie versions. I'm writing a book on one of them now.

So recently I've been going through some of my old stuff, and it's brought back a strange Phantom love. I thought obsession was gone from my adult, more-or-less-responsible life. Some of it is probably nostalgia. Some of it's probably lj with its communities. Some of it is the fact when I'm supposed to be writing "for real," Phantom fiction comes really easily. Or maybe it's the fact I've married a guy who keeps an organ in the basement. I've been rewatching old videos. I bought a Lon Chaney figure. I feel a certain, familiar warmth when I pick up the book or watch Chaney's movie (in new special edition restored version, no less).

But why? Why, when I can't stomach the fanfic, can't listen to the musical, deride most of the forms the story comes in, and should be doing other things? When I, unlike my teenage self, have a life, a partner, my own home, a job, and creative pursuits coming out my ears?

What the hell is this Phantom guy still doing here?

I don't expect all of you to relate immediately to what I'm saying. But I'm sure you've had an obsession or two which has behaved funny later on, like an acid flashback or something. Not that I've ever had one.

I like being obsessive, to a point. I like have something to mull over. But does it have to be so stupid? Why can't it be something I actually like? Why this?

PS--Melly or Moco, you'd better have something to say to me about this.

Comments

[my_daroga]

Hmm, I agree with what you just said as well. A resurgance; mine is through writing this book I'm doing on Phantom of the Paradise and combing through all my old stuff. Also, the movie (which I forced myself to see) and wrote pages of ranting during it. I couldn't write a review, so I wrote a fic about Christine's choices during the finale, of which the obvious is Meg.

But yes, it's frequently my reaction *against* which provokes other positive feelings of nostalgia. I've internalized the story, the archetypes, and "grown" in my aesthetic requirements, and it's led to the above.

Thanks for listening. =)

[cdaae.livejournal.com]

Yes, I went through a lot of old stuff a couple of months ago, and it reminded me of all kinds of things I used to love about both Phantom and the fandom.

I think having internalized the story and the archetypes has a lot to do with my strong reaction against the film - because Phantom has become a part of me in many ways, seeing people make stupid ass comments about the film almost felt like a personal insult on some level.

Have you interviewed Jessica Harper at all for your book? I love her voice. I looked her up a while ago and discovered she seems to be doing CDs and performances of songs for children now, which I couldn't help feeling was a waste of an amazing voice, though that's pure selfishness of course!

[my_daroga]

I've spoken with her via email, which is frustrating! As she is free to skip questions, which she did. I ran into her (before starting the book) at the American Library Association Conference in Orlando a few years ago, and she was really nice. Or gracious, anyway. Says she doesn't do "those kind" of interviews.

I have spoken with pretty much everyone else, and Bill Finley especially was sad about her not "using" her talent. He didn't say the kids' stuff was a waste or anything; but that she has such a great voice (which she does) and should be famous.