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What's wrong with me?
I did not just write a real-person drabble.
I was reading about William Shatner (as one does at work), and came cross this gem from Playboy:
Playboy: Who is better in bed, Captain Kirk or T.J. Hooker?
Shatner: One is a giver and the other is a taker. So it works beautifully.
And I wrote this:
Kirk glanced appraisingly at Shatner’s middle. “Haven’t been keeping yourself up, have you?” He looked up with a heavy-lidded expression that Shatner had perfected with hours before his bathroom mirror. He suspected it came to the captain naturally. “You’re still very pretty.” He leaned forward, standing far too close for comfort.
Shatner stared at him. “But I’m… not… gay!” he said.
“Well I am, if you want to be 20th century about it,” said Kirk, using a smile Shatner thought he’d patented—Nimoy called it his “smirk of unassailable ego”—“and you have to admit you think you’re gorgeous.” He stood back as if to let his double admire his Starfleet-approved physique. Shatner could only wish he looked like that. And he had to admit—he looked really good.
“Well you… aren’t so bad yourself,” he begrudged.
Kirk pouted. “True enough. Though I’ve never understood why you make me talk like I can’t get through a sentence without stopping to think.”
I was reading about William Shatner (as one does at work), and came cross this gem from Playboy:
Playboy: Who is better in bed, Captain Kirk or T.J. Hooker?
Shatner: One is a giver and the other is a taker. So it works beautifully.
And I wrote this:
Kirk glanced appraisingly at Shatner’s middle. “Haven’t been keeping yourself up, have you?” He looked up with a heavy-lidded expression that Shatner had perfected with hours before his bathroom mirror. He suspected it came to the captain naturally. “You’re still very pretty.” He leaned forward, standing far too close for comfort.
Shatner stared at him. “But I’m… not… gay!” he said.
“Well I am, if you want to be 20th century about it,” said Kirk, using a smile Shatner thought he’d patented—Nimoy called it his “smirk of unassailable ego”—“and you have to admit you think you’re gorgeous.” He stood back as if to let his double admire his Starfleet-approved physique. Shatner could only wish he looked like that. And he had to admit—he looked really good.
“Well you… aren’t so bad yourself,” he begrudged.
Kirk pouted. “True enough. Though I’ve never understood why you make me talk like I can’t get through a sentence without stopping to think.”
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Damn, Kirk was fine. I watched a couple of episodes last weekend and felt quite grabby.
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And I just blew a neural circuit contemplating an actor flirting with his own role. (Not even *going there* with Gerard Butler and the Phantom...)
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I realize than I'm inordinately pleased by my invention. I had to hit my head on the desk last night re-reading it. I thought it'd get a lot more attention.
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I think my husband goes for Spock. Though even he cannot resist the Kirk.
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Oh, and yeah. Kirk and Spock are totally gay for each other. I "squee" every time Spock says "Jim".
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"Well I am, if you want to be 20th century about it"
is genius.
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I can deal with "strange kind of genius." Heh.
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But funny.
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More, please?