Cheated and defeated.

[my_daroga]

That sucked.

I'm too pissed of to write a proper review. nostalgia_lj has said some stuff already, as has lizbee, and I haven't had time to go read what other people are saying.

From my p.o.v., only just having come to love love love this show in the past half-season, I feel so let down it's amazing. Two months ago this finale would have passed nearly unnoticed, with me disappointed but not really caring too much. Martha made me care. Hardcore. I reveled in my new love for a show I had written off as a nostalgia trip all along. It made me happy to be obsessive about something again. I knew it wasn't totally rational--that mostly I'd learned to live with (and love) the limitations RTD's imposed.

But he's gone and done exactly what he needed to to make me hate it. His elevation of the Doctor to the Lonely God Everyone Prays To has done precisely the opposite of his intent where my attitude towards the Doctor is concerned.

Part of what's so upsetting is that I fully expected something wanky to happen. I mean, I didn't think it would be awesome science fiction--but I did trust it to feed me what I wanted. It's not like I think "Human Nature" etc was actually good, but it hit me just right. The Master, likewise, hit me just right without fooling me into thinking there was anything that empirically good about it.

In short, I expected fanfic, but I expected somewhat good fanfic, like what we've been getting. I got the opposite. Maybe RTD should have hired some of us.

Edit: I feel that by not saying anything to Martha, the Doctor's broken up with me. So long, buddy. You're not worth it.

Martha: win
Doctor: lose

Comments

[my_daroga]

Oh no, they're not pissing me off. We've hashed out our differences over these characters--it does sound like harping on and on, but it's fascinating to me how opposite our reactions are to the same things. It's like how I don't understand favorite colors--I have one, but it makes no biological sense.

Anyway.

Anyway, I am the type of person who feels *guilty* when someone likes me more than I do them. It makes me feel terrible. I've been the oblivious one, who feels like shit when I learn of it, later than everyone else. So maybe that plays into my unrequited love bit. I'm not saying you (or I, or the Doctor) *should* feel obligated--just that I always *do*. Not that it changes anything. Just makes things harder on me.

So anyway, I think maybe because of that misplaced guilt, I can perversely see where Martha's coming from--because I've been in her place before, too. And I don't read her actions as an explicit, conscious cry that she deserves his recognition, so much as a confused "why?" that I totally relate to. The way I'm reading it, it doesn't look like a pathetic crush but someone who's just unluckily, and from my p.o.v. quite naturally, fallen in love with the one person she can't have. I've felt obsession before, and I've removed myself from its influence.

Anyway, like I said before, I *like* that bit and it's only in the analogous relationship it bears *my* relationship with new Who that it bothers me. The preceding events were much the worst part.