my_daroga | conditioned responses and me

I've never experienced anything traumatic enough to stay with me in the way that, well, people who've been through traumatic events tend to carry that emotional residue with them. But now I think I understand it.

The other night, the Daroga clan (sans Kitty) went for a walk with human!Darcy and Sacha and The Bass Player. It was late, and quite dark, and we were on the well-used bike path behind the house. We heard someone coming in the distance, and could make out vague doggy-shaped things in front of person-shaped things, but Mr. Daroga was not expecting it at all when one of the doggy-shapes, which was already running towards us anyway (though on leash, as was Mr. Darcy) went straight for Mr. Darcy's face and clamped on to his lip. O HAY THAR PITBULL!

The men at the other ends of the leashes went in, while I yelled "don't get bit!" and tried to spray the dogs with my squirt bottle. And while it was definitely the most potentially dangerous fight Mr. D's ever been in (as in, dangerous for him), no one was hurt. Mr. Daroga apologized needlessly, since for once it wasn't D's fault. (Yes, I realize there are far too many "D" and "dar"'s.)

Crisis averted. Everything fine.

Well, as soon as we got out of range, I started crying and hyperventilating. I couldn't stop. And it wasn't that I was specifically reliving being bit, or genuinely concerned for Mr. Darcy's welfare at that moment. I think I was reliving the emotions of that day when I got bit and the other dog's owner yelled at me with a lot more venom than either of the dogs felt towards each other. It wasn't a specific memory--just the attendant feelings. And I realized that I've been reacting poorly to dog fights since then. Not that we get in a lot of them, but I'm emotionally less capable of dealing with it now.

So I kind of understand conditioned, traumatic responses like that now. Which, aside from being (obviously) unpleasant, is kind of interesting, too. Though it makes me feel weak and inadequate, I must say.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm just glad no one got hurt. Because two dogs getting it on (and not in the sexy way) can get ugly. I don't blame you for being emotionally overwrought.

You haven't been here for all the ANGST and DRAMA surrounding this dog. He's a peach at home, and with the cat, but with other dogs? It's been 1 1/2 years of trying to get him conditioned. So even though this one wasn't his fault, I *am* emotionally overwrought about him in general, because of all we've gone through.

Sometimes we don't know what happens in these situations until we analyze it later; instead, there's just this huge up-front surge of emotion. I know what you mean about it making you feel "weak and inadequate."

Good thing Mr_D didn't get hurt, though!

Yeah, I'm glad he's okay. I will never know how they can slice through human skin so easily and yet maintain a grip on a dog's body part and not break the skin.

I just recognized, in my reaction, something irrational *beyond* the normal "that was awful" feeling. For me.

I'm glad Darcy didn't get hurt!

I'm sure I would be rattled a bit too seeing something like that happen.

At this point, though, what I'm trying to describe is the layering of that--now, no dog fight will ever be just that fight but all the others that have come before.

I'm glad everyone is okay. It's perfectly understandable that you were upset. You shouldn't feel weak and inadequate, though I understand why you do. Sometimes having to remember and constantly relive a disturbing event can be more traumatic than the event itself.

From this distance, it's just more interesting psychologically than anything else. There's a palimpsest of dog-related emotions now, so no incident will be isolated ever again. You know?

I'm glad none of you were hurt. The one time another dog attacked my dog (back in the day) I was in tears for days.

Oh, I bet! I think sometimes people forget that the people with the attacking dog are cut up about it too--sure, it's not the same thing, but it's *your* baby behaving badly and you feel almost as helpless as the other dog's owners.

Was your dog okay?

She was fine! She was all "I want a rematch!" and the other dog owner and I were the ones freaked out. Her dog was in heat and had slipped out the door while she was getting the mail and my dog and I were passing by her yard. The two dogs considered it business as usual but the humans were like "waaaaaaaugh!"

We both assured each other that our dogs were up on their shots, and they each had a minor bite but nothing that looked like it needed attention. We both called our vets anyway to make sure nothing needed to be done.

I'm glad there wasn't badness with the owner; that can be the worst part of it. Dogs are dogs, and it's always nice to deal with someone who knows that.

That night, we passed by those guys again. D wanted *nothing* to do with the other dog, which heartens me--if he really got hurt/scared, maybe he'll think better on it next time.

conditioned responses and me

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