my_daroga: "Match me, Sidney." (noir)
Last November, I was in Orlando, helping out with a friend's production of A Midsummer Night's Dream. Mr. Daroga, [personal profile] lettered and I were providing the music, and we arrived in time to have a few rehearsals and meet the student actors.

Warning for cruelty to puppets )

Here and There

  • May. 24th, 2010 at 2:19 PM
my_daroga: James T. Kirk (shatner)
*Someone recommended this lovely fic to me and I'm passing it on, not even having finished. It's Star Trek XI, Cupcake/Chekov, and highlights the fact that what little we get of "Cupcake" in the film is that he stands up for a woman who's said no more than once already. Kirk's the hero of the film, and yeah, Cupcake's rough, but does that make him right? Very sweet, and I believe the author has gone on to write more about him. We always read about Starfleet's avowed geniuses. What about those redshirts, huh?

*This should explain itself:

*An interesting writing meme:
Is my id showing?

via [ profile] snickfic: So, a couple of us got to wondering what our fics revealed about us. Hence this anonymeme. Are our ids showing?

I've just put all my stuff up on Archive of Our Own, so this got me wondering. I probably know what my primary concerns are already, but it's interesting to think about how many of them come through in my fanfiction, and which ones I'm not actually aware of. And I wonder if they're consistent through fandoms, or if my concerns are native to one or the other area. Or is there something that links my RPF and my Trek and my Phantom of the Opera? I'm not sure anyone's actually read fic in more than one of my fandoms, but if you've got any insight, let me have it!

*My thoughts on New Who, through The Time of Angels (not v. positive) )

*[personal profile] lettered/[ profile] tkp and I may be attending a Star Trek convention. "May be" as in "are."

Random Update

  • May. 17th, 2010 at 2:35 PM
my_daroga: "Match me, Sidney." (noir)
I have to say, a surprise!marching band (particularly a punk/indie one) is a million times better than the regular kind. Especially when you're at an art opening and think some high school is practicing way too close until you realize they're coming up the stairs at you and are actually dressed all in black/white/red and are not at all high schoolers. I like to imagine they just crash various events.

News of Outdoor Star Trek interest:
Casting is completed, and at this point it seems that another girl and I are "vying" for Kirk and Spock. As in, she was the top pick for both, so we're going to work out who's-who in rehearsal. That should be interesting. I am somewhat delighted by the notion that people cannot actually be delineated as one or the other--I would have thought that Kirk/Spockiness (as individuals, not slash) was somewhat innate and mutually exclusive. Then I would have thought again and laughed at myself.

I am actually posting, however, to point out two awesome Dreamwidth communities I am avidly following and highly recommend:
[community profile] writingthewall is a discussion community devoted to real person fiction, and all the discussions so far have been fascinating.
[community profile] queering_holmes is a very interesting community "for research/discussion of Sherlock Holmes and queerness" which spans the books, the new movie, and in general the treatment of queerness and homosexuality in the 19th century as well as today's fandom.

Boston Legal

  • Jul. 7th, 2009 at 7:28 AM
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (Default)
What I would really, really like from this show is a different/no soundtrack, different editing, fewer broad reaction shots, and the absence of anyone not Crane or Shore.

I hate when things I like are entangled in things I do not. It makes shunning them much harder, but watching them rather painful.

In other words: MORE SHATNER.

In other news, I am back from Ohio, where I spent the past week with my family. Photos and all that coming soon, though I will be somewhat scattered still as I have a friend coming in tomorrow for a week and computer issues based on having moved the computer into the living room (where there is no internet) to replace the television which is in the shop. Priorities are interesting, aren't they?

How are you? Anything exciting going on? Any links I should know about? What have I been neglecting?

My Brain as Viewed from Outside

  • May. 2nd, 2009 at 10:42 AM
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (iconic)
My birthday gift roundup presents what I think is a fairly interesting picture of Where I Am Now. (All presented by Mr. Daroga and [personal profile] lettered.)

The Left Banke ("Walk Away Renee/Pretty Ballerina")
The Association ("And Then... Along Comes The Association")
Franz Ferdinand ("You Could Have it So Much Better")
Muse ("Origin of Symmetry", "Black Holes and Revelations")

Seven Pillars of Wisdom: A Triumph by T.E. Lawrence. Following this essay, I put down my copy of the "abridged" 1926 edition and decided I should read the original 1922 text. And now I have it! Unfortunately, this paperback edition is very print-on-demand, and is not only horribly formatted but printed on letter-sized paper, making it impossible to read in bed. Still, I will brave it.
Exposed: The Victorian Nude by Alison Smith. Obviously, the apparent cultural contradiction interested me. Ahem.
Robin Hood: A Cinematic History of the English Outlaw and His Scottish Counterparts by Scott Allen Nollen. Funny story: this was on my wish list, which is where [personal profile] lettered saw it. When she found it at our local Half Price Books, she thought it fortuitous that there was a copy there--not knowing it was this exact copy which I had been watching for months and which had prompted my placing it on the list in the first place.

Other Media
The Adam West Batman, Season 1
Tickets to a new stage adaptation of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, this afternoon

Last night, we went to the Melting Pot and had cheese and chocolate (and this amazing "strawberry drop" drink that would turn me into an alcoholic if I could get it whenever I wanted--and I hardly ever drink). Then we went home and watched the 1995 Pride and Prejudice. All in all, there are worse ways to turn 30.

Five associated things, list two

  • Feb. 26th, 2009 at 9:21 AM
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (anne/diana)
Five things [ profile] phantoms_siren associates with me:

I'm not sure exactly how to address these, except to wonder, at least a little, why Phantoms associates them with me. Which is sort of the most interesting part, and I'd be interested in her thoughts on the subject.

Clear skies
I live in Seattle, which is known for its rain and overcast cloudscape. But what no one tells you (presumably for fear the city will be inundated by newbies like me) is that the summers are GLORIOUS. It's not hot enough (generally) to need air conditioning, and not humid enough either. So you open your windows and enjoy three months of temperate summer. The grass dies, but it always comes back. And the days are long, but not so long I can't sleep.

Even so, I find I miss the cloudy weather when we go a long time without it. I like how it feels to sit on the couch reading, or watching X-Files, with the light outside all diffused and dim.

Still, clear skies in Seattle is a far different thing than clear skies in Florida. Which spell sunburn and a sad absence of my favorite Florida feature, the 3 o'clock thunderstorm. I love being able to see the mountains in the distance, and Rainier looming over the city, and airplanes. I love seeing airplanes in the sky, because every time I do it reminds me how truly amazing they are. Big hunks of metal that fly.

Blue roses
I'm not sure I've ever seen a blue rose. I expect they're very unusual. I once knew someone who claimed she'd have blue roses at her wedding; for the life of me, I can't remember now who that was. According to Wikipedia, efforts to breed blue roses resulted in something like lilac until genetic engineering made all our dreams come true; though apparently not very well.

The other day I watched The Thief of Bagdad (1940) which included a "Blue Rose of Forgetfulness." I also recall one pinned to the lapel of Lil's red dress, in Fire Walk With Me, but I can't remember what it means. According to the Victorian Language of Flowers, a blue rose means "mystery, attaining the impossible."

I am nothing like a rose, much less the impossible blue one.

I have never been a huge fan of peppermint. Perhaps it is too strong; of the minty candy/gum flavors, I prefer wintergreen, and I do not enjoy hard peppermints of the sort you get at restaurants. Peppermint patties have far too great a peppermint-to-chocolate ratio.

I think peppermint works much better as an aspect of something, like fudge or ice cream or a chocolate mint Hershey bar. Yes, I am too weak for peppermint.

There is a great discrepancy between things I like aesthetically and what I present to the world. Somehow I've decided that while I appreciate many fine things and enjoy dressing up if it is a costume, I am lying to the world unless I am wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Perhaps it is a matter of physical comfort, but I suspect it's largely mental.

That said, I think brocade would be a bit much, in any event, and hard to be subtle about. When I was younger, in the full throes of my 19th century literature/Phantom of the Opera phase, I wanted to decorate everything far too richly for my tastes now. I even bought a length of paisley fabric I was going to make curtains out of (or something--I can't imagine what I was thinking). But somewhere along the way my habits got simpler and simpler and now the most extravagant I get is painting each room a different color, with solid curtains on the windows.

But why? Why shouldn't I mix and match? I love rooms where nothing goes together--it's a matter of allowing that free reign in my own space. Which has very little to do with brocade, I suppose, but the only other thing brocade makes me think of is ValMalkovich.

Sea spray
Growing up, my father was mad about sailing. Finally, at some point during my teen years, he bought a boat. It was a 22' Catalina, and we kept it in Casco Bay in Maine. We lived in New Hampshire at the time, so weekends consisted of driving up to it and poking around the islands.

With sailing, it's all about the journey. Or so I'm told. I quickly got bored with it, because I nearly always want to get somewhere. It's not that I don't appreciate the journey, but when the journey is very much the same for hours and the sun is beating down on you, making you drowsy and a little sick, it's hard to keep that frame of mind. Later he bought a 33' Ranger for taking my grandfather (and me and my uncles) to Cuba, which he then sold, and sold the house, so he and my mother could move onto a much larger sailboat which they now live on. I guess that's his dream.

People often express an affinity for one element or another. I've never really known, except I don't think I'm Fire. Or Earth, really, though I may be fooling myself. But while I love the sea, I love watching it more than being on/in it. I love rocky coastlines, where the waves crash and little things get caught in tidepools and lighthouses warn off ships. The beach holds little interest for me at all. But every time I'm back in Rhode Island or Maine I go to Ocean Drive or Ogunquit and climb around on the rocks.
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (rogue)
*Last night, Mr. Daroga accidentally called Mr. Darcy "Orson." No, I have no idea, either. But it reminded us how unlikely it is that we will ever have a pet worthy of the name. It seems to me that the creature would have to have a certain quality to earn it--if not a certain bulk, which given our stern feeding/exercise regimen seems unlikely.

*Those of you who read my movie reviews: I've been perusing some other movie blogs, which seem much better put together and well-researched and well-read than mine. (I don't refer specifically to this LJ, which is a messy catch-all I'm currently feeling some angst about, but also to the film-only blog I copy all the reviews to.) This is largely due to laziness on my part, and a lack of sense of direction for it. I suppose I'd like to take this to another level, if possible, and this is where you can help:

Aside from writing more reviews, which I am aware I need to do, how can I improve my film writing? My reviews are usually concise, usually not very in-depth, and try to avoid spoilers. Other reviews talk more, or get more analytical, or seem punchier and more in-your-face in their opinions. What do you like in a film review? What do you get from mine? What would you like to see, or see more of? Is there some sign of perosnality behind them, or do I need to inject more? I'd love some honest feedback. If you don't have anything to say off the top of your head, consider this an invitation to comment on the reviews themselves next time you have a thought. I would love to discuss these films, or my writing about them, in greater depth. And I'd love to improve my writing. What am I missing? Or do I need to sprinkle my review posts with more in-depth, analytical or thematic posts on filmmaking or films?

*On another note entirely, an amusing tutorial for cartoonists (and others) about drawing natural-looking boobs. Mr. Daroga found this when... oh, never mind. It's from 2007, and has some spelling errors, but I thought it was funny. And it reminded me that despite the fact Bruce Timm's women are all as unnaturally tiny as his men are built like refrigerators, at least the girls aren't all built like porn stars on steroids, and some of them are built like me.

Oh yeah. Warning: boobs.

*This is old too, but if you haven't seen it Dr. Watson's Inner Monologue is a really stylish (and shippy) comic I was only recently introduced to. I love the muted colors and the weird stiltedness of it, and I think it's pretty. Watson's expressions are priceless.

*And a meme:

Ask me to take a picture of any aspect of my life that you're interested in/curious about - it can be anything from my DVD collection to my favorite pair of shoes. Leave your choice(s) here as a comment, and I will reciprocate by taking the pictures and posting them as an entry. That way you get to know a little bit about my life.

I take lots of photos, but there may be something I've mentioned you want to see more of--but keep it clean, kids.

winter wonderland

  • Dec. 25th, 2008 at 10:47 AM
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (books)
Happy Holidays, to those who celebrate! As a secular Christmas person by tradition, today's the day with presents and candles and a decent meal and things, which we'll be sharing later with new roommate E. and dog, Auryn. This is the second person from the internet who's moved into my house, by the way, and I highly recommend it.

As anyone thinking about it may have predicted, it was a Wellesian-flavored Christmas. I got Orson Welles at Work and Making Movies with Orson Welles by Gary Graver, as well as The Third Man on blu-ray. We also got the yearbook edition of Freaks and Geeks from Mr. Daroga's parents (funny, since we got them the same series). Among other things, I got Mr. Daroga a set of Mercury radio plays. So I predict some curling up with Orson today.

It's been snowing here for a week, and Seattle has a no-salt, no-real-plowing policy. They actually want to pack the snow, meaning it's unsafe for anyone without four wheel drive or chains to drive anywhere. We've done some anyway, because life doesn't stop for snow, but while E. and I can make fun of people who can't drive in snow all we want, there's a reason it's harder, here. We're just not equipped. But the dogs have enjoyed it, and it's funny how the whole city comes to a standstill. Which leads me to my next batch of photos, taken on Sunday after 11 pm. The cloud cover was low, the night was totally silent, and non one was about. The diffused light looked almost like daytime, or maybe a strange dream-like daytime. I haven't done anything to these at all. Without any cars or people out, we let Mr. Darcy run around wherever he wanted, and he finally got to tear through the cemetery near us.

night for day
+15 )
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (persian)

The image (minus one important addition, and it's not the text) comes from an old Japanese Batman comic, as reproduced in Bat-Manga. Does this remind you of anyone?

I really haven't been around lately, have I? I have about a week (give or take a few days) left before my master's degree is FINISHED, which I'm very excited about, except for the next week (give or take a few days) I have to live through. I will be very, very happy when this is all over. My MLS has been just about the most boring project I've ever embarked upon.

And I haven't really commented on anything political or pop-cultural because when I do have things to say, I've been saying them out loud. So you're missing it. Not that most of it's that exciting or pithy. In short: Bogdanovich's interviews of Orson in This is Orson Welles are some of the greatest things I've ever read, I am going to see Twilight, the new Star Trek trailer is APPALLING, I hate that it gets dark here now at 4:30, and [ profile] tkp is AWESOMESOCKS. I keep hoping I'll catch up on movie reviews and things, and write all those essays I always want to but am too lazy to actually write out.

Until then... there's Lord Death Man.


  • Sep. 30th, 2008 at 7:34 AM
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (rochester)
I am obsessed with Orson Welles.

This is not news to any of you, I suspect, since I talk of little else lately except for the odd foray into Peter Pan outfits. Nor do I think it will soon pass, and you will be inundated with more reviews as I attempt to watch his entire body of work. But I don't bring him up to talk about him in particular, today, but about obsession.

See, it's been ages--it feels like years--since anything's hit me this hard. When I was a teenager, and through college, certain things would grab hold of me and not let go. Sherlock Holmes, The Phantom of the Opera, T.E. Lawrence, The X-Files, all of them had their day(s) and all of them were certain to elevate my heart rate on a regular basis. Under these conditions I was most likely insufferable, but I also wrote a lot. Obsession, for me, is akin to that gut-level yearning that also spurred my writing in previous years, the stories I just had to get out and would work on incessantly until they were done, thinking of little else. They were never that long, and compared to some of you my output, even at its highest, was much less. These stories were not necessarily related to my current obsession (unless it was Phantom), but the feeling was similar.

That's part of the reason that my constant rumination on Orson makes me happy--I'd missed that feeling. I've missed being absorbed by something, probably because it's one of the few situations in which I feel at all passionate. I think I'm fairly dynamic in real life. I'm not a stoic. But that's just personality, and here I'm talking about the sort of thing that dominates my thoughts and proves to me that I'm still reachable.

This is most likely a little bit unhealthy. After all, there are "better" things to be passionate about--real world situations, real people, relationships. And this sort of passion is inward-directed, reachable only by me and then constantly spilling forth whether my companion wants to hear it or not. In this instance, I am lucky in that Mr. Daroga seems to feel the same and [ profile] tkp at least finds him adorable and seems to be amused by the fact of my obsession in itself. (No, he's not my type at all, physically; but as I told her last night only half-joking, I feel this is good for me and represents, er, an expansion of my taste.) But in general, unless you are part of a cult or spend a tremendous amount of time online to the exclusion of your everyday activities, fanatical obsession is a solitary thing. Even when it's shared, the peculiar overflow of excitement is difficult to confer on another, and more often than not serves more as a feedback loop for one's own obsession.

But for whatever reason, and I believe I've mentioned this before, I was nostalgic for those days of all-consuming interest. I'd thought it lost in the face of "real life": marriage, pet parenting, full-time employment and the like. I just didn't have the time or energy to obsess. I was doing more important things. Now I feel that way again, and I want to prolong it and draw it out and revel in it. Why? Is it like the person who keeps starting and leaving relationships, so they can get that new love high over and over? The objects of my obsession always stay close, even when the fire dies down. I tried to jump-start my Phantom thing again, by coming back online and getting involved. I have succeeded primarily in addiction to a cracktastic role-play forum--perhaps that's another obsession, or perhaps it just sparked this one. Perhaps it was quitting anti-depressants that did it.

Whatever the reason, what I hope is that this marks a return to some of my other pursuits--namely, obsessive writing. Back then, my stories were not brilliant, but at least I was telling them. And the compulsion to tell them overcame any laziness or fear of failure or whatever else is stopping me now. I'm not sure I should be so delighted by my own insular fannishness, but I am.

What about you? Do you have an obsessive personality? Did you once and, like me, leave it with some part of your life as you moved on? Or are you astonished that I'm even remarking upon it because it's just part of life? What have you been obsessed with? And that strange feeling--do you like it? Or is it a barrier between you and "real" life?

And isn't Orson amazing?
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (christine/meg)
She's done a better job at this than I could, or at least, a good enough job that I don't have to, so anyone interested in the LJ Advisory board elections should see tkp's post about what we should do. As she says, it's for the children porn! It's outdated now, because I am slow. But still important.

In other news (speaking of) I got linked to a modern day POTO fanfic in which Erik is a professor (with apparently no problem wearing a mask in school, so far it's not addressed), married, with two kids, and receiving sexual favors from an extraordinarily slutty 17-year-old Christine in exchange for good grades. I'd have stopped but then Nadir showed up as a beat poet who tokes up with Raoul, and that was just too amazing for words. It's the only part of this morass of OOCness I almost want to be fact.

As a legit rec, I want to cite [ profile] cesario's girl!Harry stories, Girl in the War and the prequel, Twelve Hundred Hours. She does stuff with a female Harry Potter that I wouldn't have imagined, but makes sense to me.

In still other (personal) news: Still indecisive.

Quiz Night and Song Meme

  • Apr. 16th, 2008 at 3:53 PM
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (detectives)
I've been meaning to tell this story for awhile now, since it happened a few weeks ago. [ profile] tkp convinced me to go to a pub quiz night. Actually, we danced around the invitation, neither of us knowing if the other one was serious about going/taking, but eventually we worked it out and there we were. The lure was Harry Potter trivia (which turned out to be lame). But in the random round, there was a question dear to my heart.

"What was the real name of the Elephant Man?"

I scribbled down Joseph Merrick, then put "(John)" after it just in case. "Just wait," I said. "They're going to say John."

When they read out the correct answer, of course it was John. I raised my hand like an overeager preschooler and said, "Excuse me! But that's wrong! Treves used 'John' in his account, but it was written after the fact and he was wrong; his real name was Joseph, even though the film used John."

Both answers got the point, and I got weird looks from the other people at our table. It was a proud moment. I was so earnest it was funny. See? There is a point to knowing stuff like that.

We still didn't win, though.

Tagged by [ profile] stefanie_bean. Five favourite bands/artists, five songs for each, tag five people to do the same.

Oh, tagging... Um... Anyone want?

1. Belle and Sebastian
Stay Loose
Piazza, New York Catcher
Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying
The State I Am In
I Fought in a War

2. Radiohead
Talk Show Host
Bulletproof... I Wish I Was
Paranoid Android
2 + 2 = 5 (The Lukewarm)
Exit Music (for a Film)

3. Kate Bush
Sat in Your Lap
Night of the Swallow
Jig of Life
Rocket's Tail

4. Ben Folds Five
The Last Polka
Selfless, Cold and Composed
Missing the War
Battle of Who Could Care Less

5. Elliott Smith
Waltz #2 (XO)
Between the Bars
No Name No. 5


my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (julian)
Survey: What a Billion Muslims Really Think on Talk of the Nation. Ambitiously titled, but interesting findings from a Gallup poll conducted face to face with Muslims around the world.

From [ profile] emily_shore (I got it right this time): "The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion": When the Anti-Choice Choose. This is a fascinating, frustrating read, whatever your views.

A few weeks ago, This American Life was about testosterone. There was a man who used to be a woman talking about how getting T affected him. The crew of TAL all got their testosterone levels checked. Very interesting. But all the stuff this one guy was describing about how his body stopped producing enough--the lack of focus, the lack of passion--sounded so much like me. Hmm. If I didn't mind the body hair...

I'm sad I'm not involved in any "real" fandoms, and therefore cannot take part in the remix thing everyone's doing. Not that I have time. It's the principle of the thing!

Speaking of which, [ profile] ghostwritten2 wrote the awesomest X-Files badfic I hope she doesn't mind me linking to. I love her so much, even her badfic is awesomesauce.

There should be more POTO fic writing encouragement. It's too bad those LJ communities for contests and prompts and stuff died. Those of you who are (or should be) involved at The Fifth Cellar, don't hesitate to post challenges for people.


  • Feb. 13th, 2008 at 10:05 AM
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (angry)
I didn't get the part. But I'm not too broken up, because I knew it already. Still... I made my folks alter our vacation plans in case I was going to be in the show this summer. Which I feel bad about, now.

In other news, I love this election. Even apart from who wins, or who I support, or why, I'm vastly entertained by all of it. I know entertainment isn't the point (or shouldn't be), but the excitement of it is fantastic and just the closeness of the race(s) and the engagement of the public is heartening. When's the movie coming out?

conditioned responses and me

  • Oct. 12th, 2007 at 6:42 AM
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (mr. darcy)
I've never experienced anything traumatic enough to stay with me in the way that, well, people who've been through traumatic events tend to carry that emotional residue with them. But now I think I understand it.

The other night, the Daroga clan (sans Kitty) went for a walk with human!Darcy and Sacha and The Bass Player. It was late, and quite dark, and we were on the well-used bike path behind the house. We heard someone coming in the distance, and could make out vague doggy-shaped things in front of person-shaped things, but Mr. Daroga was not expecting it at all when one of the doggy-shapes, which was already running towards us anyway (though on leash, as was Mr. Darcy) went straight for Mr. Darcy's face and clamped on to his lip. O HAY THAR PITBULL!

The men at the other ends of the leashes went in, while I yelled "don't get bit!" and tried to spray the dogs with my squirt bottle. And while it was definitely the most potentially dangerous fight Mr. D's ever been in (as in, dangerous for him), no one was hurt. Mr. Daroga apologized needlessly, since for once it wasn't D's fault. (Yes, I realize there are far too many "D" and "dar"'s.)

Crisis averted. Everything fine.

Well, as soon as we got out of range, I started crying and hyperventilating. I couldn't stop. And it wasn't that I was specifically reliving being bit, or genuinely concerned for Mr. Darcy's welfare at that moment. I think I was reliving the emotions of that day when I got bit and the other dog's owner yelled at me with a lot more venom than either of the dogs felt towards each other. It wasn't a specific memory--just the attendant feelings. And I realized that I've been reacting poorly to dog fights since then. Not that we get in a lot of them, but I'm emotionally less capable of dealing with it now.

So I kind of understand conditioned, traumatic responses like that now. Which, aside from being (obviously) unpleasant, is kind of interesting, too. Though it makes me feel weak and inadequate, I must say.

Pictures of things in my life right now

  • Oct. 4th, 2007 at 7:05 PM
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (self)
The store keeps not having Annie's Mac and Cheese (the regular kind, in the purple box so I have to eat the Arthur-shaped ones. I don't really like Arthur, but I like to pretend I'm eating little Radiohead bears.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

proof )

A few weeks ago, we discovered a rat in the window birdfeeder. Yeah, I know that's bad and stuff, but they haven't got in yet and we're not refilling it. I just keep forgetting to take it down. Because they're kind of cute. And they come in pairs and freak out the dog. He just jumps up and down in front of the window all night. It's hilarious. But also annoying. The cat has figured out she's never gonna get that, and doesn't take much notice.

In fact, the first night one of them came, the animals didn't notice it at all.

the rat, and Kate not noticing it )

One night Mr. Darcy was so annoying I had to get up and close the blinds. But first I looked at the rat. It was a different one, not the injured one here. Instead of running away, he looked right at me. I touched the glass, and he put his nose where my finger was. I moved my finger and he followed me.

I think I have a friend.

It's really hard to think of them as pests.

Don't just stare like you never cared

  • Sep. 25th, 2007 at 10:04 AM
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (watership)
As I wrote in [ profile] lawgrrl_23's journal, "Selfless, Cold and Composed" is one of my favorite songs of all time. I think it hurts me because I feel like I'm the person he's singing to. I could be that girl.

lyrics, for those who don't know it )

I've always suspected myself of being too aloof, too cold. I turned away potential partners because I was convinced I didn't feel as deeply as other people. I actually believed I was incapable of deeper emotion. I think I'm mostly over that now, since one of them was persistent enough to convince me I was wrong. But this song still evokes that fear in me; that the worst thing I can do is not care but it might come too easily for me.

But damn, I love that song. Many of my favorite songs have that element of masochism in them, that quality that makes me think of sitting in my room when I was 17 and hated my life. Why do I like that? When I was fourteen I'd read the "Counterpoint" section of Susan Kay's Phantom, the Christine/Erik part (yes, I know everyone else hates that part), over and over because it hurt so bad. And you know what? It's that quality of feeling "too much" that I craved; the proof was right there in those pages that I wasn't an automaton. I had feelings. They just weren't excited by anything in my real life. There's still an element of truth to that. I'm frequently much more moved by my imagination than the world; but I'm no longer completely separate from it. And now I have real people (including animals) to love instead of just the ones on paper. (Family, you know, doesn't light that spark no matter how great they are.)

But I still love that reminder that I can be hurt.

PS--The song "Driftwood--A Fairy Tale" by Cursive falls in the above category. I have antidote songs, too, like "Down on the Upside" by Ocean Colour Scene. Or something by Supergrass. Catchy British pop is my happy place.


drums and other sounds

  • Jun. 25th, 2007 at 6:34 AM
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (capslock doctor)
It's ridiculous how much the light changes here. I work from 6:30-5. In the winter, I arrive at work in the dark and leave in the dark. In summer, I wake up and go to sleep while it's light. Amazing.

The dogs are doing well, and I am amused by how often the seem to unconsciously mirror each other's position. More often than not, they're lying with the same orientation, even if they're not next to each other. Like how you cross your arms when the guy across the desk does. Mr. Darcy will be sad to see her go on Tuesday, I think.

belated doctor who squee, w/ spoilers )
That's all for now, I think. Mr. Daroga and I watched the first two episodes of Rome the other day, and we're definitely on board for the rest. Also re-started Neon Genesis Evangelion, which somehow I'd forgotten the sheer amount of awesome of. God, the intro song/montage makes me cry. I'm actually not kidding. I need to get that.

i may as well sign up for dogster, now...

  • May. 7th, 2007 at 8:07 PM
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (mr. darcy)
#I just realized I'm feeding Mr. Darcy all natural free-range chicken strips. For dogs.

#It's time to go through the cd collection again and put everything in the right cases. You have no idea how much I wanted to listen to Joseph Arthur's Big City Secrets right now. But it's roughly equal to how disappointed I am that I can't.

#I got birthday money. But I've suddenly become old and responsible, and I can't rationalize spending it on presents for myself. Because I do that all the time, don't I?

#The best bit of last week's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me: Upon quoting Bush saying he's "the commander guy," someone said, "Do you ever get the feeling Stan Lee's scripting this entire administration?" Excelsior, True Believers!

#There is entirely too much waiting in my life right now. No word on house or auditions. That's on top of general anxiety over hiking for 5 days next week and book proposals.

#Embarrassing fact: I've been listening to 70's soft rock. I have no idea why, except that it was probably what I heard most growing up, so now I feel all squishy and nostalgic. Don't tell anyone.

#This video of a dancing horse is awesome. Yes, I know it's called dressage. But still! It's cool! Thanks to... was it [ profile] synaesthete7?

#If I was either more clever or less lazy, I'd have bolded words or letters to spell a message to you. But I am not either of those things.

#The fact that there are Japanese girls doing Phantom in drag is just about the most awesome thing ever.

#The phone rang while I was typing this. It was not a casting director or a real estate agent. It was my best friend, so that was cool. But come on!



my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (Default)
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