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Hedwig and the Angry Inch: Not Really a Review
Ever since we watched Hedwig and the Angry Inch last Sunday, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tkp's been announcing how much she loves it. Which is awesome, and makes me wish to address my own feelings about the film, which are so different from what they were when it came out.
Seven years ago, when all this was actually happening, Hedwig and I fell victim to overhype. I was told over and over, by many people, that this was totally "my thing" and I would love it and that I'd "find him so hot." (Anyone who knows my penchant for boyish scrawny people of various genders will find this unsurprising.) When I finally saw it, it couldn't possibly live up to the expectations piled upon it. I think I was also put off by what I saw as a Rocky Horror-like cult that had grown up around it. And don't get me wrong, Rocky Horror is fun and all, but the comparison didn't make me believe there was anything for me to really get out of this movie. I enjoyed it, found parts of it amusing, liked the music. But it didn't speak to me.
To fully understand my current relationship with Hedwig and the Angry Inch, I guess I should go back to my mid-teen years, when I fell in love with John Cameron Mitchell all unknowingly because of the song "Winter's on the Wing" in the musical The Secret Garden. I had the cd, and Mitchell played Dickon, and his accent was so amazingly hot. (Yes, you Yorkshire folk can laugh at me now.) I never saw him, and barely registered his name. Actually, it was probably a year or two after Hedwig came out (the movie, not the show) before I figured out it was the same guy.
Something else happened between then and now to materially alter the landscape, and that was seeing Mitchell's next film, Shortbus. Yeah, that's the one with REAL SEX in it. I think it's one of the most positive films about human nature I've ever seen. And the documentary about the making of it was what really did it for me: seeing this slight young man, so quiet and self-possessed, talk about why he was making this film was incredibly touching. And the fact that I'd last seen him as the decidedly unquiet and dispossessed Hedwig made the contract intriguing. Not to mention pointed out his amazing talent.
The thing about Hedwig is that I think I am only now in the right place for that film to find me. Or rather, we're finally in conjunction; perhaps I could have seen it last year or the year before and it would have worked, too. The point is it works now. Something about me, or my position viewing it, is different. Maybe it's the fact I've allowed myself to find him attractive both as Hedwig and as himself. My understanding of my own sexuality has certainly expanded since college. Maybe it's my familiarity with the music, and the way that makes their contextual placement in the film more poignant. I think, too, that I used to think it was more of an exercise in camp than it really is. Now, and especially after watching the "Whether You Like It Or Not" feature on the DVD, I think it's more than that. Seeing the process out of which it was built added layers of meaning for me. It's campy and in your face, but it's also about something, someone.
I started writing this intending to write more about the text, and what it means to me, rather than the trajectory of my appreciation. I'm not sure that's of interest to anyone but me. But when I think about what I have to say about Hedwig, I'm not sure it has any meaning to anyone else, either. Maybe if I could determine just why it makes me cry now, when it left me untouched before, I'd have something. But I can't help but feel that there's something sort of personal about the film that might not translate well. At least, for me. I'll keep thinking about it.
Right now, frankly, I'm sort of in a “oh my god, s/he is the hottest thing I've ever seen” phase (aided greatly by how much I respect him). Seven years late, granted. Which is probably why there are all these pictures here.
tkp's been announcing how much she loves it. Which is awesome, and makes me wish to address my own feelings about the film, which are so different from what they were when it came out.Seven years ago, when all this was actually happening, Hedwig and I fell victim to overhype. I was told over and over, by many people, that this was totally "my thing" and I would love it and that I'd "find him so hot." (Anyone who knows my penchant for boyish scrawny people of various genders will find this unsurprising.) When I finally saw it, it couldn't possibly live up to the expectations piled upon it. I think I was also put off by what I saw as a Rocky Horror-like cult that had grown up around it. And don't get me wrong, Rocky Horror is fun and all, but the comparison didn't make me believe there was anything for me to really get out of this movie. I enjoyed it, found parts of it amusing, liked the music. But it didn't speak to me.
To fully understand my current relationship with Hedwig and the Angry Inch, I guess I should go back to my mid-teen years, when I fell in love with John Cameron Mitchell all unknowingly because of the song "Winter's on the Wing" in the musical The Secret Garden. I had the cd, and Mitchell played Dickon, and his accent was so amazingly hot. (Yes, you Yorkshire folk can laugh at me now.) I never saw him, and barely registered his name. Actually, it was probably a year or two after Hedwig came out (the movie, not the show) before I figured out it was the same guy.Something else happened between then and now to materially alter the landscape, and that was seeing Mitchell's next film, Shortbus. Yeah, that's the one with REAL SEX in it. I think it's one of the most positive films about human nature I've ever seen. And the documentary about the making of it was what really did it for me: seeing this slight young man, so quiet and self-possessed, talk about why he was making this film was incredibly touching. And the fact that I'd last seen him as the decidedly unquiet and dispossessed Hedwig made the contract intriguing. Not to mention pointed out his amazing talent.
The thing about Hedwig is that I think I am only now in the right place for that film to find me. Or rather, we're finally in conjunction; perhaps I could have seen it last year or the year before and it would have worked, too. The point is it works now. Something about me, or my position viewing it, is different. Maybe it's the fact I've allowed myself to find him attractive both as Hedwig and as himself. My understanding of my own sexuality has certainly expanded since college. Maybe it's my familiarity with the music, and the way that makes their contextual placement in the film more poignant. I think, too, that I used to think it was more of an exercise in camp than it really is. Now, and especially after watching the "Whether You Like It Or Not" feature on the DVD, I think it's more than that. Seeing the process out of which it was built added layers of meaning for me. It's campy and in your face, but it's also about something, someone.I started writing this intending to write more about the text, and what it means to me, rather than the trajectory of my appreciation. I'm not sure that's of interest to anyone but me. But when I think about what I have to say about Hedwig, I'm not sure it has any meaning to anyone else, either. Maybe if I could determine just why it makes me cry now, when it left me untouched before, I'd have something. But I can't help but feel that there's something sort of personal about the film that might not translate well. At least, for me. I'll keep thinking about it.
Right now, frankly, I'm sort of in a “oh my god, s/he is the hottest thing I've ever seen” phase (aided greatly by how much I respect him). Seven years late, granted. Which is probably why there are all these pictures here.
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But other things, I can have around for years before I realize how vital they are to me in this moment. It's why I still "try things on" periodically when I know they should be important. Sometimes, I can't imagine how I missed it before.