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although I wasn't there, he said I was his friend
So. Hi.
It's been awhile, right? I'm not even sure where to begin, except to say--I miss you. Generally and specifically. I miss fandom, and my flist. Part of it is, I got busy, I got depressed, I got busy getting un-depressed, a lot has changed. And part of it is just that I don't know how to get back in. Somewhere along the line, I've convinced myself I've nothing to say or contribute, and I'm not sure why that is. Thinking feels difficult, fandom feels dispersed, and I no longer know where I fit in it. And thinking about working that out is daunting, because there is so much of it. There's a lot of canon, a lot of fanworks, a lot of meta, and a lot of platforms on which to discuss it. Even now, I don't know where to post. Do I go to tumblr? Do I come here? Do I try both, and if I do, how do I decide what goes where and how do I even manage that without getting overwhelmed again?
Anyway, this current whim has been caused by my attendance at Sherlock Seattle 2013, which was great fun. I've been a Sherlockian since, oh, I was 9 and first saw Jeremy Brett on my tv. So it was amazing, getting to go to a con just a few minutes from my house, where "new" fandom and old mingled. You had all the cosplay, the fic, the tumblr memes, etc, but you also had guests of honor I remembered from zines and Prodigy boards and I reconnected with a lot of stuff and made new connections.
And I want more. I just don't know how to do it. The suggestions I've gotten, while good, aren't quite me. I mean, yes, I'm making fannish crafts, that people seem to want. That's nice! And I enjoy dressing up (especially when professorfangirl calls me out so amazingly nicely!). But what I miss most is discussion and writing fic and being part of that ongoing production of meaning.
So why do I think I can't think anymore?
I don't know, but I might be poking around here, trying to figure it out. Hi!
It's been awhile, right? I'm not even sure where to begin, except to say--I miss you. Generally and specifically. I miss fandom, and my flist. Part of it is, I got busy, I got depressed, I got busy getting un-depressed, a lot has changed. And part of it is just that I don't know how to get back in. Somewhere along the line, I've convinced myself I've nothing to say or contribute, and I'm not sure why that is. Thinking feels difficult, fandom feels dispersed, and I no longer know where I fit in it. And thinking about working that out is daunting, because there is so much of it. There's a lot of canon, a lot of fanworks, a lot of meta, and a lot of platforms on which to discuss it. Even now, I don't know where to post. Do I go to tumblr? Do I come here? Do I try both, and if I do, how do I decide what goes where and how do I even manage that without getting overwhelmed again?
Anyway, this current whim has been caused by my attendance at Sherlock Seattle 2013, which was great fun. I've been a Sherlockian since, oh, I was 9 and first saw Jeremy Brett on my tv. So it was amazing, getting to go to a con just a few minutes from my house, where "new" fandom and old mingled. You had all the cosplay, the fic, the tumblr memes, etc, but you also had guests of honor I remembered from zines and Prodigy boards and I reconnected with a lot of stuff and made new connections.
And I want more. I just don't know how to do it. The suggestions I've gotten, while good, aren't quite me. I mean, yes, I'm making fannish crafts, that people seem to want. That's nice! And I enjoy dressing up (especially when professorfangirl calls me out so amazingly nicely!). But what I miss most is discussion and writing fic and being part of that ongoing production of meaning.
So why do I think I can't think anymore?
I don't know, but I might be poking around here, trying to figure it out. Hi!
no subject
Fandom has definitely shifted around a bit. I've never got the hang of Tumblr myself but there is still more than enough going on at Dreamwidth to keep me busy.
Signups for Yuletide have just opened as well, if that's something that you're interested in being involved in. I love the community feeling of it.
no subject
And I love the idea of Yuletide, but I haven't written in so long it's rather intimidating.
no subject
I was thinking just yesterday that it been a long time since you posted to LJ. I've been MIA here and I see you all over FB, so I didn't miss the you that you are so much as the fannish part of you. I'm feeling in the same boat in terms of fannish contribution. Fandom is dispersed and what was is not quite there any more, or at least it's changed so much as to be unrecognizable. I usually feel like I'm shouting into a void on LJ anyway, so I just dived back in with the things that I am watching attempting to, as you put it so beautifully, be part of the "ongoing production of meaning."
Your brain is awesome!! I'm glad that you're finding your way back to un-depressed. I'm glad that you feel better. I hope you're happy (or happier).
I hope that you find your sea legs again and jump into whatever corner of fannish participation that you feel most comfortable in. Maybe start small? Write some drabbles just to dip a toe in?
However it goes, Welcome Back!
no subject
You know, I have thought that part of my participation on facebook--which you might have noticed, it relatively recent--is about the fannish and "rl" aspects of my life merging. It's hard to really see them separately when you're playing Kirk on stage and running laser shows and generally being unabashed and unashamed. But it's not the same, either.
I just don't know what to talk about.
But I would like to start feeling like I can write again, and I think I'll have to force it to some degree, because I really do feel an overwhelming sense of CAN'T when I think about fic. And that's ridiculous.
But since you mention it, I'm a million times better than I was a few years ago. Thank you. And I'll try to stick around and see who I am, here.