...ok I'm not going anywhere. But I wanted to pop in and just bang away a bit about all the stuff coming up in my life. Because it's kind of a lot? And it's... always. A lot. I seem to get caught up in stuff on a regular basis to the point where I can't figure out where my free time went, only it's entirely obvious when you look at the evidence.

So, coming up:

--It's super busy at work, given that salmon are returning and my job is to educate people about said salmon
--A play called Death Tax in which I have a small but really juicy part, opening in October
--A talk at Left Coast Sherlockian Symposium about what constitutes a Holmesian performance. Also in October, the week before the above play. So I guess I better write that.
--A few panels at GeekGirlCon in November, about online roleplaying and the importance of geeky play.
--KiSCon, I think, though I haven't heard back yet about whether they want my panel ideas? Anyway, last weekend of October.
--Planning for next year's Hello Earth show, which needs to begin now
--A film class in four parts I am doing for SIFF next March, called "Monstrous Marriage" about Beauty and the Beast, Phantom of the Opera, and our continuing obsession with the Beast/Bluebeard narrative.


Things I'm also into/want to be doing:
--Podcasts! I'm on one, want to do my own
--Roller skating/aerials/archery/fencing all the things
--writing, I'd like to be writing
--cosplay
--check in tomorrow there will be a new thing

I'm really bad at regulating myself, too. At realizing I need to slow down. I'm getting better at that, at taking time for myself, but honestly? I'm just usually dismayed that I haven't more time.

So. Hi.

It's been awhile, right? I'm not even sure where to begin, except to say--I miss you. Generally and specifically. I miss fandom, and my flist. Part of it is, I got busy, I got depressed, I got busy getting un-depressed, a lot has changed. And part of it is just that I don't know how to get back in. Somewhere along the line, I've convinced myself I've nothing to say or contribute, and I'm not sure why that is. Thinking feels difficult, fandom feels dispersed, and I no longer know where I fit in it. And thinking about working that out is daunting, because there is so much of it. There's a lot of canon, a lot of fanworks, a lot of meta, and a lot of platforms on which to discuss it. Even now, I don't know where to post. Do I go to tumblr? Do I come here? Do I try both, and if I do, how do I decide what goes where and how do I even manage that without getting overwhelmed again?

Anyway, this current whim has been caused by my attendance at Sherlock Seattle 2013, which was great fun. I've been a Sherlockian since, oh, I was 9 and first saw Jeremy Brett on my tv. So it was amazing, getting to go to a con just a few minutes from my house, where "new" fandom and old mingled. You had all the cosplay, the fic, the tumblr memes, etc, but you also had guests of honor I remembered from zines and Prodigy boards and I reconnected with a lot of stuff and made new connections.

And I want more. I just don't know how to do it. The suggestions I've gotten, while good, aren't quite me. I mean, yes, I'm making fannish crafts, that people seem to want. That's nice! And I enjoy dressing up (especially when professorfangirl calls me out so amazingly nicely!). But what I miss most is discussion and writing fic and being part of that ongoing production of meaning.

So why do I think I can't think anymore?

I don't know, but I might be poking around here, trying to figure it out. Hi!

Or, some things you might want to know about me. Or, way too much information, thanks.

Inspired by stultiloquentia's post, I thought this might be a good time to say a few things about who I am and let anyone who wants to ask questions. Not that questions aren't welcome at any time! I'm not currently leaving LJ for Dreamwidth, and this is going up in both places because I daresay there are/will be new people at both places at some point. Apologies to those who know all this, already!
( self-involvement in list form )